secrets and confessions
by Ribbond
Summary: Oneshot. Missing scene for 'In my time of Dying'. What if Dean wasn't the only one who left the hospital with a secret? Sam has a little talk with the Demon.


"Okay people, I call it. Time of death, 10:41 am"

Sam watched in utter shock as the nurses and medics around his father started disconnecting all the wires. The machines were switched off, the oxygen mask placed again on top of the tank, and his father form lax, devoid of any movement, no rise and fall of the chest, no movement on his face, no nothing. Not ten minutes ago his father had been fine, had been asking Sam to please not fight, and now… Sam then knew. He knew he should have got suspicious about the not fighting part. It wasn't like his father to say something like that, but Sam had been so happy at the moment, so happy Dean had awakened and not only that, but once again managed to get past a reaper, and they still had the Colt and everything that he hadn't taken more notice to his father estrange behaviour. And now it was too late. He would never be fighting with his dad, because his dad had just died. Finally reality entered his brain, and it was when Sam realised he was already crying. He made no intention of trying to rub his eyes, watching instead how his brother slowly, he didn't know if because of the shock or because of his injures, walked to his father and stood perfectly still. After a minute or so, Sam followed his brother's steps and approached his father's bed. He remembered countless times as a child, as an adolescent when he had watched his father sleep, always a concentration frown on his face. There was no frown now. It was the first time John's face seemed completely relaxed, like a big heavy weight had been lifted from him.

"We have to incinerate him"

Dean's quiet voice startles him. Looking at his brother, Sam saw Dean's face in a perfect expressionless mask. No tears were running down his cheeks, no lip trembling, nothing.

"Dean…"

But Dean wasn't looking at him. His stare was still fixed on John's form like there wasn't anything else on that room.

"Dean, we have to think about what we're gonna do. You just woke up from a coma and…"

"I'm fine, Sam. And what we're gonna do is, for me to check out of here, and take care of dad."

"No Dean, you're not fine, you just woke up from a coma, hell, you had a reaper coming after you and.."

"And I told you I'm fine, Sam. Drop it"

Even though the words were intended to be harsh, Dean's tone continued being flat, emotionless, raw. And then, just like that, Sam felt Dean sway at his side.

"Dean?"

"I'm…" The 'fine' part was muffled by Dean's less than gracious dive for the floor. Hadn't Sam been there to catch his fall and gently lower him to the floor, Dean would have started a new set of bruises.

Sam kicked himself mentally. That all of Dean's injuries had mysteriously disappeared didn't mean Dean was fine. He had been days in a coma, that alone would have let his body weakened. Dean tried to weakly push himself away from Sam, but Sam would have none of it.

"Be still, damnit"

Dean finally sighed and closed his eyes, but not before Sam could notice the moisture in his eyelashes. Sam went to the door and asked for help, before returning to Dean's side.

"Dean, you with me?"

He tapped lightly Dean's cheek, but the only thing he got in response was a soft moan that sounded suspiciously like 'dad'. Sam closed his eyes. His father had just died and his brother needed him right now. And all he wanted to do was curl into a ball and let himself slip away.

"Sir? We need to return him to his room"

He opened up his eyes startled and saw a couple of nurses trying to lift his brother to a stretcher. He immediately helped them, noticing the thing sheet of sweat. A doctor looked at Dean's pupils.

"Start again an IV line, we need to get some fluids into him"

The nurses nodded and left with Dean. Sam stayed and looked at the doctor, noticing for the first time, it was not the same doctor which had previously treated with Dean.

"How's he?"

"All things considered, he's gonna be fine"

Sam nodded, looking once again at his father and was unprepared when the doctor continued speaking. "At least physically speaking. Emotionally, well, let's just say it doesn't happen every day that your dad's body gets possessed, tortures you, tells you how unneeded you are and then out of the blue dies. But Dean is a tough guy, right?"

Sam turned around wildly at hearing that, and gasped when he saw the doctor's eyes shimmering in yellow.

"You…"

Sam looked around frantic. Where had his dad put the Colt?

"You looking for this?" The doctor showed him the Colt smiling, and Sam felt a raw rage building inside of him. In front of him was the reason because of his mother was dead, his girlfriend was dead, his brother had almost died and his father had died. He tried to lunge forwards the Demon, but found, like it had happened on that cabin, unable to move. The Demon walked to stand next John's bed, looking at John, smiling.

"You know, you're father was a pain in the ass since the moment go, but he was good at what he was doing, I'll give him that". The Demon sat on John's bed, caressing the Colt with his hands, and looking again at Sam. "Come on, Sammy, don't look at me like that. I'm not gonna hurt you, or your brother for the matter. After saving his life it would be a little crazy to go and kill him now, right?" At Sam's chocked expression he smiled wider. "Of course you wouldn't know. Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, I thought you knew better. How do you defeat a reaper?" The Demon paused and wait for an answer that didn't come.

"Exactly. You don't. You know that, Dean knows that and your father knew that. That's why he decided to make a little pact with the devil, no pun intended"

"Dad would never make a deal with you"

"Oh, that's what you think Sammy? Okay, why don't we look at the facts, shall we? Fact one: you're brother is lying in a coma, badly injured and without real probabilities of waking up. Not to mention the fact a reaper is after him. Fact two: you're father, who is remarkably in good shape after the accident, asks you to bring the Colt to the Hospital along with a list of things used to conjure a Demon. Shortly after that, your brother awakes from the coma with his injuries apparently gone while your father abruptly dies and the Colt, oh surprise, gets into my hands." The Demon eyes looked at John and patted his arm lightly before watching Sam once again. "Denial may be a river in Egypt, Sammy, but the truth is your father traded the Colt and his life to save Dean."

Sam shocked his head slowly. "Why are you telling this to me?"

"Oh, would you prefer I told this to your brother? Because that can be easily arranged, you know?"

"No!"

If what the Demon had said was the truth, and Sam had a feeling it was, Dean better never know it, because the knowledge his father had died to save him would destroy him. Hell, Sam still remembered the first reaper they encountered, and how he had taken the death of a life guard when Roy LeGrange had miraculously 'cured' him.

The Demon smiled at Sam's frantic denial.

"Maybe you'd like to tell him yourself. I won't spoil the surprise for you then."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Why? Very simple. Here, clever Johnny made me promise to never told Dean about the deal. But he forgot to mention you, and me, as the Good Samaritan I am, though that your father sacrifices shouldn't go unnoticed."

The Demon got up from the bed and approached Sam. "But now I must take my leave, I have a lot of places to go, lots of matters to attend. But with a little luck, I'll se you and your brother soon enough. Tell him I send my regards"

And with those last parting words, the Demon left the room. Soon after that Sam felt himself able to move once again and knelt before his father's bed. His father had died so Dean could live. Sam remembered the harsh words he had told the man about his priorities and felt a sharp stab of pain clenching in his gut. And he hadn't even been able to tell him he loved him. That even though all the differences they had had, Sam loved him so much. All his father knew was that Sam thought he was more interested in killing that demon than saving his own son. Bitter tears start falling down his cheeks while he took his father's hand and whispered once and again how sorry he was. At least he knew he would make sure of one thing. He would make sure Dean never knew the truth about that deal, and he would make all he could to kill that bastard who was slowly tearing apart his whole family. Looking at his father, he vowed to that, before standing up and leaving the room.

The end.


End file.
